Glimpses of Mutual Joy

St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church, Owings Mills MD

August 6, 2023

The Feast of the Transfiguration

Exodus 34:29-35

Psalm 99

2 Peter 1:13-21

Luke 9:28-36

Glimpses of Mutual Joy

Today is the first Sunday of August, which of course means that in a little while we’ll offer birthday and anniversary blessings – including an anniversary blessing for Barritt and Gay Peterson who celebrate their 40th anniversary today!

The start of August also marks the beginning of a seasonal shift – we felt it last week after strong storms ushered in thankfully somewhat cooler and less humid weather.

And we’re starting to see a slightly different slant to the sunlight and, sadly, the days are beginning to get noticeably shorter.

This seasonal change is bittersweet, of course.

The teachers and students in the room may have decidedly mixed emotions – sadness about summer winding down, anxiety about a new school year, but also excitement about reuniting with friends, classmates, and colleagues – another chance to teach, to learn, and to grow.

It’s been twenty years since I was a teacher but I still feel echoes of those feelings. I even have a recurring dream in which, panicking, I suddenly realize that I haven’t gathered any grades - that it’s been a really long time since I’ve given my kids a quiz or a test! How could I have forgotten something so important? What am I going to do?

And then I wake with a start and remember that was all long ago.

But I still have that bittersweet feeling – sadness about summer slowly drawing to a close but also excitement about the fall – and, this year, special excitement about everything that’s coming up here at St. Thomas’, starting with the completion of the beautiful new roof and our return to church.

In at least one respect, this upcoming fall is going to be different from any I’ve ever experienced as a priest.

We have a lot of weddings coming up in September, October, and November.

I’ve certainly never had so many weddings in such a short time – for the first time it’s forced me to take detailed notes when I’ve met with each couple so I can keep everybody clear in my mind.

And especially these days when fewer people get married in church, and the ceremony is often officiated by a friend or family member who was “ordained” online (no judgment from me but the “priest union” is firmly opposed to this practice!), it’s rather extraordinary that all these couples want to be married here – to have their unions blessed by God in this holy place, witnessed by family and friends.

Probably like most clergy, I guess, I have a couple of basic wedding sermons that I adapt to the situation, trying to make it as personal as possible (that’s why I need the notes).

And in one of my wedding sermons I reflect on the expression “mutual joy.”

If you’re familiar with the Episcopal marriage service, you may remember that near the start, the officiant reminds everyone of the purposes of marriage – “for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.”

But, before and above any of that, the Prayer Book declares that the very first purpose of marriage is “mutual joy.”

So, often in my wedding sermon, I’ll point that out – the most important purpose of marriage is mutual joy.

But mutual joy is not just for married people.

No, it’s been God’s great desire from the start that all of us – whether we’re single, married, widowed or divorced – all of us are meant live lives of mutual joy.

This is something we often forget, of course.

And so, every once in a while, God offers us a reminder of the way things we’re always meant to be – glimpses of mutual joy - mountaintop experiences like when a couple exchange some big promises, as Barritt and Gay did forty years ago, as couples will be doing throughout the fall here at St. Thomas’.

Glimpses of mutual joy.

In addition to the first Sunday of August, today is also the Feast of the Transfiguration, the day we remember an extraordinary mountaintop experience – a preview of Easter - a glimpse of mutual joy.

In today’s lesson from the Gospel of Luke, we’re told that Jesus and his disciples Peter, James, and John go up the mountain to pray.

Suddenly, Jesus’ appearance is transformed, his clothes now dazzling white.

Jesus is then joined by Moses and Elijah, those two towering figures of Israel’s past.

Luke tells us the topic of their conversation –they discuss Jesus’ upcoming “departure” – actually, Luke uses the more resonant word “exodus” – linking what Jesus is about to accomplish in Jerusalem to the Passover and the liberation of the Israelites from slavery.

That’s already quite a lot for one mountaintop experience – so powerful and moving that Peter, reasonably but wrongly, wants to hold on to it for as long as he can, offering to build shelters for Jesus, Moses, and Elijah. 

But, Peter can barely get those words out before an overshadowing cloud appears and the disciples are understandably terrified. 

But the voice from heaven simply says, “This is my Son, my Chosen; listen to him!”

And then, as suddenly as this mountaintop experience began, it was over – the voice from heaven was silent and Moses and Elijah were gone.

Now it was time for Jesus and his disciples to come down the mountain and begin the journey to Jerusalem and all the disappointment and suffering and sorrow – and, finally, the Easter joy – that awaited them there.

But, no matter what lay ahead, Jesus and his friends would not forget this mountaintop experience – this preview of Easter – this taste of heaven – this glimpse of mutual joy.

One of the great privileges of my job is to meet with couples to help them prepare for their wedding and, much more important, for married life ahead.

It’s always touching to hear how they met and what they love about each other and why they’ve decided to make this big commitment.

The wedding day is surely a mountaintop experience for the couple and for those who love them, but just like for Jesus and the disciples, eventually they – we – must come down the mountain and face the challenges and difficulties of everyday life.

It’s why one of the most important moments of the wedding service is when all of us in the congregation pledge our support to the couple, pledge our support especially during the inevitable hard times that they, like all of us, will have to face.

It seems to me that our great challenge is to remember – to remember that all of us – no matter our marital status – all of us are meant for mutual joy.

And we experience mutual joy when we obey the command that God spoke from the cloud and listen to Jesus.

We experience mutual joy when, with God’s help, we try our best to love everybody, even the people we’re not too crazy about, even our enemies.

We experience mutual joy when, with God’s help, we give generously, giving of ourselves, giving away as much as we can.

We experience mutual joy when, with God’s help, we ask forgiveness when we’ve messed up – and when we offer forgiveness when we’ve been wronged.

And, no matter the season, we experience mutual joy when, with God’s help, we remember – remember the days of big promises and great joy – when we remember those mountaintop experiences when we’ve gotten a glimpse of what life is all about: mutual joy.

Amen.

A Glimpse of the Kingdom

St. Paul’s Church in Bergen, Jersey City

January 9, 2016

The Wedding of Adam Krieg and Katie Lynch

Isaiah 32:2, 16-18

A Glimpse of the Kingdom

            Well, this is a great day, right?

            What a joy to be here in this beautiful place today celebrating with all of you, celebrating the union of Adam and Katie.

            I have to say I’m especially excited to be here today.

            I was very honored that Katie and Adam asked me to officiate at their wedding – and they assure me that it’s not only because of the super-convenience of having my church right next door to where they live.

            Though there’s that.

            It’s been a joy to help prepare Adam and Katie for today and for married life beyond – it’s been a gift to become friends.

            When we started I didn’t really know them well. We had had a few conversations, mostly outside when one or both were walking their beautiful dog, Teddy.

            But, over these past few months as we’ve prepared and talked I’ve learned what I bet you’ve all known for a long time:

            These are two truly exceptional people – deeply caring, whip smart, a perfect fit for each other – both kind of quiet, very thoughtful, very what the kids call “chill.”

            How fortunate for us to know them and to love them, right?

            What a blessing.

            Now, I don’t know, but maybe there are some of you here today who might be thinking, well, you know, it’s about time – it’s about time that these two who have been together for so long, who obviously love each other so much, are finally making this big commitment to each other, finally tying the knot.

            And, believe me, I certainly understand impatience.

            In a way, our whole society is based on impatience – the need for everything to get done ever faster – the impatience and demand for ever-greater efficiency and multi-tasking that’s making us all a little crazy, I think.

            But, that’s not God’s way.

            God has all the time in the world so there’s no rush at all.

            And, throughout the Old and New Testaments there is a vision of a restored creation, of the world finally being set right again, of God’s kingdom being established on earth – a vision of us living the kind of lives that we were always meant to live.

            We heard a piece of that vision in today’s reading from the Prophet Isaiah – a typically unconventional choice by Katie and Adam.

            Isaiah presents this beautiful vision of God’s kingdom:v

            “Then justice will dwell in the wilderness, and righteousness abide in the fruitful field. The effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust for ever. My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting-places.”

            It’s a beautiful vision, isn’t it?

            Of course, I don’t have to tell you that in our broken world scarred by poverty, injustice, fear, and violence, we are nowhere near the kingdom described by Isaiah.

            God takes God’s time – and seems, at least so far, willing to give us time to work with God to build God’s kingdom on earth.

            But – and here’s the thing – as we take our time God gives us glimpses – gives us glimpses of God’s kingdom – glimpses of the way things were always meant to be – glimpses that inspire us and encourage us to keep going – to keep working with God to build the kingdom.

            I hope you’ve seen those kinds of glimpses in your life – holding the hand of the one you love, getting help from someone even though they know you can never repay them, receiving forgiveness for what you thought was unforgivable, looking into the eyes of your child for the first time…

            I hope you’ve seen glimpses of God’s kingdom in your life – but I know you’ve gotten at least one glimpse of God’s kingdom because you’ve seen, you’ve known, you love Adam and Katie.

            When we look at the life and love they share – while imperfect like everything human – we get a glimpse of the Kingdom of God.

            And, I have no doubt that when they welcome new life into the world, we will get even more glimpses of the way things were always meant to be, thanks to the love shared by this beautiful family.

            So, today we celebrate.

            Today we promise to support Katie and Adam, no matter what.

            And, today we all get a truly beautiful glimpse of God’s kingdom.

            What a great day.

            Amen.

            

Deep-Rooted Love

The Wedding of Kristin Elizabeth Korsgaard and Michael Chang

July 18, 2015

Song of Solomon 2:10-13; 8:6-7

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

John 15:9-12

Deep-Rooted Love

            What a day! What a beautiful day!

            What a joy to celebrate the marriage of Kristin and Michael!

            What a gift to witness the love they share with each other – the love that has brought us all together today.

            You won’t be surprised to know that I go to a lot of weddings.

            I’m always glad when couples get in touch with me to let me know that they want to get married and ask me to be the officiant.

            It’s always so moving to see the hope and excitement of these couples as they step bravely into the future, courageous enough to make a lifelong commitment to each other.

            I always insist on a few sessions of pre-marital counseling with me in an effort to look at whatever issues a couple might have – to give them the chance to deal with these things before they get married.

            No surprise, some couples have some real issues – problems with communication, very different visions of the future, financial disagreements, families that don’t get along...

            We try to work through them as best we can but, I’ll admit, sometimes I find myself at weddings with some real doubts – with some red flags flying – but, of course, praying and hoping for the best.

            And then, there’s these two.

            Kristin and Mike.

            I had the usual premarital counseling sessions with them and, while I won’t say that these meetings were boring or a waste of time – how could spending time with Kristin and Mike be boring or a waste? – the truth is that after just a few minutes I saw what you all see and what you all know: how at ease they are with each other – how they are on the same page about everything that really matters.

            Although I still made them meet with me a few times – just in case - after only a few minutes it was clear to me that they are ready – they’ve been ready - they are ready to make a lifelong commitment of love to one another.

            You all agree, right?

            No, today my only real concern is that I have to stand between these two who are both taller than I am!

            It’s obvious that Kristin and Mike share a rich and deep love.

            It’s a love that is God’s greatest gift.

            It’s a love that began as friendship – an easy friendship among a large group of Madison friends – many of whom who are here today.

            It’s a love that was nurtured and shaped by the love that Mike and Kristin received and witnessed in their own strong and nurturing families – the love and devotion of parents and grandparents.

            And, it’s a love that truly began to take root during a time of great suffering and grief – in the days and weeks and months after the terribly sad death of Beth, whose loving and joyful presence I know so many of us feel here today.

            As St. Paul writes, “Love never ends.”

            And, so the love that began in a time of grief has now taken deep, deep root and become the obvious and beautiful and never-ending love - God’s greatest gift -that we celebrate here today.

            Now, we’ve already agreed that these two are as solid as they come but we also know that in every life and in every marriage there are challenges, fears, disappointments, and grief.

            Even the most deep-rooted love can be bent and cracked by the storms of life.

            So, you and I – we’re here to celebrate and to bless and to have a good time but we’re also here to make an important promise of our own – a promise to support of Kristin and Mike in their married life, no matter what.

            So, yes, I go to a lot of weddings.

            But, it’s rare to celebrate with a couple whose love truly is so deep-rooted – Kristin and Mike, a couple whose love is so obvious – Kristin and Mike, a couple whose love is such a clear and powerful and beautiful sign of God’s love for us all.

            What a day!

            What a beautiful day!

            Amen.

           

            

Stamina

The Wedding of Patrick Collins and Hilary Yates

May 16, 2015

Tobit 8:5-7

1 John 4:7-12

Mark 10:6-9

Stamina

            Wow! What a joyful day!

            What a great joy to gather together this afternoon and celebrate the love shared by Pat and Hilary.

            What a great joy to witness the lifelong commitment they are making to each other – and to promise that we will support them in their married life in good times and not so good.

            As you might guess, I go to a lot of weddings but this one is especially joyful because it’s a first for me.

            As some of you know, before I became a priest I was a high school history teacher and this is the first time that I have the honor of officiating at the wedding of one of my former students.

            A couple of months ago when I heard from Pat, first I thought maybe he wanted to dispute some long ago grade I had given him – or maybe he wanted some essay or test of his that I had never gotten around to returning.

            But no, of course he wanted to let me know about Hilary.

            He wanted to let me know about today.

            And, over the past couple of months I’ve had the privilege and joy to get to know this couple. And I’ve learned what you already know.

            These are two very fine young people – bright, level-headed, at ease with themselves and each other, sharing a quiet but oh so deep love.

            I also learned that they are both fortunate enough to earn a living doing what they love.

            At one point I asked them how much swimming stuff was going to be in their wedding, thinking maybe everyone would receive little souvenir goggles or life preservers or something like that.

            They both looked at me with that look – some of you know the look I mean – and said, no, they wouldn’t push the swimming metaphors at their wedding.

            But, it’s just so hard to resist, isn’t it?

            After all, today Patrick and Hilary are taking the plunge – they’re diving into married life, they’re swimming into uncharted waters…should I go on?

            Probably not. I’m going to get that look.

            Now, I admit that I don’t know anything about swimming, unless floating around a pool in a tube counts.

            But, as I’ve reflected about these two swimmers I’ve thought about the need for stamina in the pool.

            For swimmers that stamina comes from practice – from being physically fit – and sometimes maybe from being cheered on by the crowd.

            And, I suppose married life is not so different, really.

            Just like swimming, it takes stamina to make - and especially to keep - a lifelong commitment.

            Where does that stamina come from?

            In part it comes from practice – the day in, day out practice of loving each other, of being kind and considerate to each other.

            In part it comes from being cheered on by us – supported by the family and friends who care about these two so much – that’s why we’re here today promising to support Pat and Hilary’s married life.

            But, ultimately, the stamina comes from God – from the Source of all love, from the God who is love.

            God is love – and so the beautiful love shared by Patrick and Hilary is a bottomless gift from God.

            Their – your – love is a reflection of God - and is sustained by God.

            So, today is a joyful day for Pat and Hilary, for me, and for all of us – a joyful day when we celebrate the love shared by Patrick and Hilary.

            But, it’s also a joyful day because their love gives us all a glimpse – a reminder - of God’s sustaining love for all of us – God’s gift of stamina for us all –in the deep and often treacherous waters of life keeping us afloat.

             Amen.

           

            

Dwelling in God's Love

St. Paul’s Church in Bergen, Jersey City NJ

July 27, 2013

The Wedding of Pauline Eddy and Nigel Fraser

Genesis 2:4-9, 15-24

Psalm 128

Ephesians 5:1-2, 20-33

John 5:9-12

Dwelling in God’s Love

            The passage I just read comes from a lengthy part of the Gospel of John that’s called the Farewell Discourse. It’s Jesus saying good-bye to his disciples.

            Jesus knows that he is running out of time. Jesus knows that soon he will be arrested and executed. So, since time is short, Jesus wants to teach – wants to get across to his often thick-headed followers – what’s most important.

            In the short passage I read today, Jesus reminds the disciples about the love that they have experienced – the love that they have shared.

            Jesus tells his closest friends and followers, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.”

            “Abide in my love.”

            That word “abide” is unusual, isn’t it?

            It’s not a word that we use very often. And, when we do use it, it’s often meant negatively. Maybe you’ve heard somebody say something like, “I can’t abide So-and-So.” Or, “I can’t abide liverwurst.” Or, “I can’t abide country music.” Or, “I can’t abide long sermons.”

            You get the idea.

            But, in the gospel Jesus uses the word “abide” in the most positive way imaginable.

            Jesus says, “Abide in my love.”

            Which really means, “Live in my love.”

            Or, maybe even better, “Dwell in my love.”

            And that’s been God’s great hope for all of us right from the start.

            God wants us to dwell in God’s love.

            In today’s first reading we heard part of the creation story from Genesis. In that story God creates the heavens and the earth and then God forms man from the dust and God breathes life into the man and then God creates a beautiful garden from the man. In the story God creates all the earth’s creatures to keep man company.

            But, still, there’s something missing.

            And then, I think we can all agree that God outdoes God’s self and creates woman to be man’s helper and partner.

            Seeing woman for the first time, the man says, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”

            Which might be loosely translated as, “Now, that’s more like it!”

            Man and woman were created to dwell in God’s love.

            And man and woman were created to dwell in each other’s love.

            And what was true for the first man and woman remains true for us. We are made to dwell in God’s overflowing love. And we are made to dwell in each other’s love.

            Unfortunately, in the creation story the first man and woman almost immediately forget that they were made to dwell in God’s love and in each other’s love. Instead, they listen to the voice of the serpent, disobey God, and even hide shamefully from the God who loves them – the God who seeks them out.

            And just like the first man and woman, we also often forget that we’re made to dwell in God’s love and in each other’s love.  We get distracted. We give into temptation. We stumble and fall. We disrespect each other. We don’t love one another as Jesus has loved us.

            So, every once in a while God sends us a reminder – a reminder that we are made to dwell in God’s love and made to dwell in each other’s love.

            Which is part of why we are here today.

            It’s been a privilege to help Nigel and Pauline prepare for today and for married life.

            And during these months I discovered what most of you already know – these are two extraordinarily kind, bright, generous, and dedicated people.

            Over the course of their lives, like all of us, they’ve faced hard times and disappointments. But, those experiences planted the seeds for the remarkably rich and mature love that they now share – a love that, God willing, will continue to deepen for many years to come.

            They abide – they dwell - in each other’s love.

            So, we’re here today to support these two wonderful people. We’re here to pledge our love and support during the inevitable tough times that, like all of us, Pauline and Nigel, will have to face.

            But, most of all, we’re here to be reminded of what life is all about – what we’re all about.

            Whether we’re married, single, widowed or divorced, God’s great hope is that we’ll abide – that we’ll dwell - in God’s overflowing love and that we’ll abide – that we’ll dwell - in each other’s love.

            Today we’re reminded of what life is all about – what we’re all about - because we see the love shared by Nigel and Pauline.

            Amen.

           

           

The Love That Turns the World Downside Up

Grace Episcopal Church, Madison NJ

The Wedding of Stacey Small and Kyle Bossard

July 20, 2012

Colossians 3: 12-17

Psalm 67

Matthew 5: 1-10

The Love That Turns The World Downside Up

            We members of the clergy sometimes use a kind of shorthand when we talk about officiating at weddings. We’ll say something like, “Yes, I’m really looking forward to marrying Stacey and Kyle on Friday!”

            And, like all of you, I really have been looking forward to this great day when we celebrate the love and commitment of these two exceptionally fine people.

            But, I’ve been married for fifteen years so I’m not marrying anybody.

            Actually, my job is not so different from yours. We are all here as witnesses to this beautiful event. We’re here to cheer on Stacey and Kyle, promising our support and care not just for today but long after the tuxedos have been returned and the wedding dress has been carefully stored away.

             We witnesses are promising that we’ll be there for Stacey and Kyle during the years ahead, in good times and not so good.

            So, no surprise, today’s ceremony is all about love.

            But, this love isn’t just romantic love – though that kind of love is important and wonderful and anyone who knows these two knows that they are very much romantically in love.

            But, the love that God has given to Stacey and Kyle is much richer and much more life-giving and much longer-lasting than romantic love.

            The kind of love that God has given to Stacey and Kyle is the kind of love known in Greek as agape – the self-giving, self-sacrificial, self-emptying love of God.

            And those of us who know Stacey and Kyle know that they really do share agape love – the kind of love that inspires us to sacrifice for one another, the kind of love that moves us to put the needs of the other ahead of our own.

            They’ve shared this kind of love with each other for a while, but today here in this sacred space, in front of us and in front of God, Stacey and Kyle are publicly pledging to continue sharing God’s self-giving, self-sacrificial, self-emptying love with each other.

            Now, Stacey and Kyle, it’s wonderful for all of us to witness the love that you share with one another. And I don’t want to take attention away from the two of you on your big day. And, I don’t want to put any extra pressure on you. Well, maybe a little.

            But, this agape love that God has given to you and that you share with one another is much bigger and more important than the two of you.

            For our second reading today you chose what’s known as the Beatitudes – these challenging, mysterious and almost bizarre – teachings of Jesus.

            In the Beatitudes, Jesus offers a vision of a downside-up world in which the poor in spirit receive the kingdom of heaven, in which the mourners are comforted and the meek inherit the earth.

            In the Beatitudes, Jesus offers a vision of a downside-up world in which those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be filled, in which the merciful receive mercy, in which the pure in heart will see God and in which the peacemakers will be called children of God.

            Now, I don’t know about you, but that’s not really the world I usually see when I open up a newspaper, turn on the TV, or go online.

            But, that’s the kind of world that God has always meant for us to have – the kind of world that God has always dreamed for us to have.

             In his life, death and resurrection, Jesus shows us is that there is only one force powerful enough to turn broken old world downside-up.

            Agape – this love that God has given you and that you share with one another – is the only force powerful enough to turn our world downside-up.

            If you’re open to it, with God’s help, the love that you share will radiate through the streets of downtown Jersey City, down the halls of NYU, around your office, among your family, friends, colleagues - and if you’re so blessed, this love will live within your children.

            And, actually, those of us here today are more than just witnesses of your love. Because, if we’re open to it, the love that you share reminds all of us – single, married, divorced or widowed – that God has shared agape with all of us, too, and God expects us, each in our own way, to share that love with the world.

            Now, again, no pressure, but together your agape love and our agape love can maybe, just a little bit, tilt this broken old world of ours into the kind of world in which the hungry are filled and the peacemakers are called children of God.

            I don’t know, maybe that sounds far-fetched.

            But seeing the love that God has given you, the love you share with each other, and feeling the love that is today filling this sacred place, helps me believe that together, with God’s help, Stacey, Kyle and all of us, really can turn the world downside-up.

            Amen.

           

           

            

Agape

The Wedding of Jeremiah and Lori Shaw
Spray Beach Chapel, Long Beach Island
September 16, 2011

1 John 4:7-16
John 15:9-12

Agape

Today’s first reading was taken from the First Letter of John. It was written pretty late by New Testament standards – sometime near the end of the First Century. It’s a passage that’s often read at weddings, so for at least some of us the language is familiar. And like everything else that’s grown familiar there’s a danger that we no longer see or hear what it means – what it’s really about.

“God is love.” That sounds almost trite. We might shrug and ask, “What else is new?”

The First Letter of John was written for a Christian community broken by division. We don’t really know what caused the division, but it’s no surprise. You may have noticed that heated arguments and bitter separations are pretty common among religious people…

The author of First John realizes that these followers of Jesus have missed the whole point.

The whole point is love.

In this passage, written originally in Greek, the author of First John summarizes how for Christians the whole point is love. And he’s not the first follower of Jesus to realize that the whole point is love.

Half a century earlier St. Paul wrote about love in a letter to the Corinthians – another passage that’s often read at weddings.

In that letter Paul writes, “and now faith, hope and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”

Both the author of First John and St. Paul agree: the whole point is love.

Now, of course people in Greece and elsewhere in the ancient world knew about love before Christians came along in the middle of the First Century.

In fact, the Greeks had three different words for love.

There was eros, which generally referred to physical love.

And there was philia, the affection among family and friends.

And then there was a third kind of love – a kind of love that almost never appears in Greek writing before the New Testament. This third type of love is agape – selfless love.

For people in the ancient world, agape - selfless love - was almost unheard of. Both eros and philia offered pretty obvious benefits – physical pleasure and the security of having people around who would watch your back.

But, people wondered what’s the benefit of agape? What’s the benefit of selfless love?

One modern writer has described agape this way, “It is utterly impractical and makes no sense, but it is real. It comes from God.”

Not only does agape come from God, but, as the author of First John realized and proclaimed, God is love – God is agape.

God reveals God’s selfless love in creation – in this dazzling universe, this beautiful planet, and in special places like this island.

For us Christians God reveals God’s selfless love most clearly in Jesus. In the selfless love of Jesus, God says, this is who I really am. And in the selfless love of Jesus, God says to us, this is who you really are.

It turns out that we are made for agape – we are made for selfless love.

Of course, we often forget - or try to forget - that we are made for selfless love and instead look for other, less loving ways to find fulfillment – and fail every time.

Fortunately, every once in a while we get a wonderful reminder that we are made for agape – we are made for selfless love.

And so here we are today. Here we are today witnessing the love of Lori and Jerry - this agape story that is also a classic Hudson County love story that began when their paths crossed one evening in a Hoboken bar.

In talking – through the modern miracle of skype - with Lori and Jerry to prepare for today it was clear to me (even through a fuzzy computer connection) that their hearts are wide open to each other. From nearly the start of their relationship they shared the hurts that come from being on earth for a few decades. From nearly the start they shared the fears about what the future might bring. And from nearly the start they shared the hopes of what a life together could be.

Now, today in this ceremony they are formalizing the gift of selfless love – the gift of agape – the gift that they have already given to each other.

You and I are here as witnesses. We’re here to pray. We’re here to celebrate. We’re here to promise our support whenever times get tough.

And, if we keep our eyes and our hearts open we’re also here to glimpse the agape of God in the love shared by Lori and Jerry. We are here to glimpse in the love shared by these two wonderful people the love that is patient and kind, the love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

We’re here to glimpse in Lori and Jerry’s love the selfless love of God – the love that never ends.

Amen.

Discovering God

The Wedding of Katherine Huening and Asher Walden
May 7, 2011

Song of Solomon 2:10-13; 8:6-7
Colossians 3:12-17
Mark 10:6-9, 13-16

Discovering God

A couple of weeks ago there was a story in a British newspaper of a young Scottish girl named LuLu who was told by her teachers to write a letter to God. In this letter she was told to ask God, “how did you get invented?”

LuLu’s parents were startled when they heard about this assignment. Rather than trying to answer the question themselves, they forwarded Lulu’s question to a number of British religious leaders. One of those leaders, Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, took the time to personally respond to LuLu’s question.

In his response the archbishop imagined how God would reply to LuLu. Here’s part of it:

‘Dear Lulu – Nobody invented me – but lots of people discovered me and were quite surprised. They discovered me when they looked round at the world and thought it was really beautiful or really mysterious and wondered where it came from. They discovered me when they were very very quiet on their own and felt a sort of peace and love they hadn’t expected.”

The archbishop’s response to LuLu is both charming and profound.

His response touches on the great truth of how we discover God.

The story of God and humanity is a story of God being passionately in love with us – the passionate love that we hear in the words of the Song of Solomon – the passionate love “strong as death.” and “fierce as the grave.”

Because God loves us so much, is so passionate about us, God is always reaching out to us, eager to be discovered by us.

The story of God and humanity is a story of God reaching out us – from God searching for an ashamed Adam and Eve hiding in the garden to God revealing in Christ’s empty tomb that, in fact, love is stronger than death.

And God continues to reach out to us, eager to be discovered by us.

We discover God in the words of Scripture as when the author of the Letter to the Colossians writes, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

We discover God when we stop and realize, despite all of the world’s sadness and suffering, just how amazingly good it is to be alive.

We discover God when we open our eyes, look around us, and see the beauty of nature.

We discover God in the quiet of our hearts, when, as the archbishop wrote, we feel a sort of peace and love that we never expected to feel.

We discover God in the love that we share with those closest to us – with our wives and husbands, with our parents and our children, with our dearest friends.

And, every once in a while, God goes a little overboard. Every once in a while God wants so much to be discovered that God reaches out to us in all of these ways, all at the same time.

That’s what’s happening today. That’s what God is doing right here as we gather to witness the union of Katie and Asher.

We are discovering God right here and now.

We are discovering God in the beauty of this place.

We are discovering God in the beautiful passages of Scripture that we’ve heard today.

We are discovering God in the quiet of our hearts, as we reflect on the amazing journeys that brought these two wonderful people together, the unlikely journey that brought Katie and Asher here and now to make the commitment of a lifetime.

We are discovering God in the love that Katie and Asher share with each other, in the love that I saw was powerful and obvious enough to shine through even our long distance Skype sessions to prepare for today and for a life together.

And now we’re here.

We’re here to celebrate and give thanks.

We’re here to celebrate and give thanks for the love of God that we discover in so many ways, but today especially in the love of Katie and Asher.

Katie and Asher, today is a milestone on the journey of discovery that has been and will be your life together.

Katie and Asher, if you keep your eyes open, during the good times and the not so good, you will continue to discover God in one another, in the love that you share, and in the life that you have begun to build together.

And, Katie and Asher, if you keep your hearts open, you will continue to give all of us the great gift of discovering God in you, helping all of us to feel a sort of peace and love we hadn’t expected.

So, thanks to you both for sharing your love with us.

And thanks be to God for always reaching out to us, always eager to be discovered.

Amen.