Discerning the Call

St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church, Owings Mills MD

January 22, 2023

Year A: The Third Sunday after the Epiphany (5:00 PM)

Isaiah 9:1-4

Psalm 27:1, 5-13

1 Corinthians 1:10-18

Matthew 4:12-23

Discerning the Call

In today’s lesson from the Gospel of Matthew, we hear the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry.

John the Baptist has been arrested and now the baton has been passed to the one for whom John had prepared the way.

Jesus begins his work by proclaiming what had been John’s message: “Repent for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

The key difference, of course, is that, in and through Jesus, that message has been fulfilled.

The kingdom of heaven has indeed come near.

Jesus also begins his work by gathering his disciples – that notoriously ragtag group of followers – flawed and often confused – certainly not anyone’s idea of an “A team.” 

But that’s who Jesus calls.

Starting with two pairs of brothers: Peter and Andrew and James and John.

As we heard, Jesus approaches these fishermen brothers while they are doing their work – work that probably took up most of their time – work that was grueling and dangerous and also often tedious and frustrating – work that required courage and patience – a hard way to earn a living in a time and place when there were not many opportunities for wealth and safety.

What’s most striking to me (and probably to you) about Jesus’ call to these fishermen is that they seem to make their choice to follow in a flash, seemingly setting aside their livelihood without a moment’s notice, leaving behind, at least for now, their boats and their nets.

And what must Zebedee have thought as he watched his two sons – watched what he thought was his future – get up and walk away from the only life they had ever known?

Last Sunday, I told you the story of how Sue and I found our way to the Episcopal Church – it was all thanks to a holy invitation from one of my teaching colleagues.

And it was not long after we had become members of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Jersey City that I began to feel the reawakening of an old sense of call to the priesthood.

That call was certainly not as loud and clear and certain as Jesus’ summons to the fishermen brothers but, at the same time, it felt very real to me.

It felt real but also frightening and definitely inconvenient.

After all, I already had a good life. I liked teaching at St. Peter’s Prep, my alma mater, a Jesuit high school with a strong sense of mission, where I got to work beside some of my best friends.

I had thought that I would spend the rest of my working life there.

But, as I grappled with the fear and inconvenience of my sense of call, in my imagination I looked ahead to the end of my life, increasingly certain that if I didn’t at least explore ordination, I would regret not taking the chance.

And so I began what the church calls the “discernment process,” a fairly long and complicated series of requirements and lots of meetings – first with my friend Dave Hamilton, our rector – and then with a committee of other parishioners – and finally with a commission of people from around the diocese.

This discernment was not just me listening for God’s call – it was the work of the community, too.

And it was entirely possible that no matter what I was feeling – or thought I was hearing – others might not be feeling or hearing that same call – and I might be turned away, asked to follow a different road, consoled by the fact that at least I had tried.

Well, you know how the story ended.

Or, actually, “ended’” is not the right word.

Because, as kind of a task-oriented person – I love checking off items on my “to do” list – one of the hardest lessons I had to learn is that discernment never ends.

Despite the apparent quickness of the fishermen brothers to follow Jesus, the truth is that every day they had to decide to continue with the Lord – or not.

With God’s help, throughout their lives, Peter and Andrew and James and John had to listen, open their hearts, and do their best to discern what God might be calling them to do.

Discerning the call.

Although I knew better, after I was ordained I kind of thought my discernment days were behind me.

I had reached my goal! I was a priest!

But, soon I relearned, that discernment is forever.

There were and are so many unanswered questions, so many roads from which to choose.

Where to work?

What ministries to support?

What words will be most meaningful in this time and place?

All of it requires setting aside time to listen.

I guess it was about two and a half years ago, on a summer evening, Sue and I were sitting on the porch at our rectory in Jersey City, just talking about the future – looking a few years ahead - wondering if maybe we had one more big move in us, pondering if we were hearing a call to take on a new and different challenge.

Having grown up with a father who was (and is) an Orioles fan, I’ve always had an interest in, and a soft spot for, Baltimore – which had the plus of being not too far from home.

And so, we wondered.

I reached out to a clergy friend in the Diocese of Maryland, just curious about what might be possible, not now but down the road a stretch.

Well, before I knew it, I was talking to Canon Stuart Wright from the diocese, who shared with me information about the churches that were currently searching for clergy.

At first, it didn’t seem like any of them were the right fit. And, besides, this was all happening sooner than we had expected.

But, to my surprise, a certain church in Owings Mills – a place I had never heard of – it kept tugging at me – and just like all those years ago when we first found St. Paul’s Jersey City, I finally concluded that this was a possibility that I had to explore.

Discerning the call.

Back when I was first coming through the ordination process, I came across a quote from a wonderful novel by Gail Godwin called Evensong:

“Something’s your vocation if it keeps making more of you.”

And that’s been the guiding principle of my ongoing discernment. 

Just as God wanted to make more of the fishermen brothers than they could have ever imagined, God wants us to live lives that keep making more of us.

In just the short time I’ve been here, I feel like I’m on the right track because I keep growing – and I’m convinced that we are on the right track together because so many of our parishioners are growing, too – stretching our spiritual muscles – deepening our commitment – taking on new ministries – and new people continue to walk over the well-worn threshold in the church, perhaps answering a call that they are hearing and feeling in their hearts.

So, like the fishermen brothers long ago, let’s keep our eyes and ears and most of all our hearts, open.

Jesus continues to call us to follow him – always offering us more than we can ask or imagine.

Amen.