St. Paul’s Church in
Bergen, Jersey City NJ
December 22, 2013
Year A: The Fourth
Sunday of Advent
Isaiah 7:10-16
Romans 1:1-7
Psalm 80:1-7, 16-18
Matthew 1:18-25
A Good Man
This
happens every year, but I can’t believe we’ve already reached the Fourth Sunday
of Advent.
It
seems like just the other day I was standing up here talking about our
beautiful blue Advent hangings, pointing out the symbolism of the Alpha and the
Omega.
And
it seems like just the other day that we started talking about the main
characters of Advent: there’s the charismatic and demanding prophet, John the
Baptist. And there’s Mary, the young girl, probably just 12 years old, who at
great personal risk and sacrifice says, “yes” to God. Mary says “yes” and
carries God into the world in the most intimate way imaginable.
But
there is another important Advent character, someone who I recently saw
referred to as the “Forgotten Man of Advent.”
And
that forgotten man is Joseph, the character who takes center stage in today’s lesson
from the Gospel of Matthew.
The
gospel describes Joseph as “a righteous man.”
And
based on Joseph’s actions, it’s clear that Joseph is a good man.
Thinking
about Joseph the good man I was reminded of the title of a short story by the
writer Flannery O’Connor:
“A
Good Man is Hard to Find.”
Not
to get too down on my gender, but over the years I’ve heard enough women
express exactly those sentiments.
“A
good man is hard to find.”
Recently
I was talking to a woman who has several teenage daughters. She was telling me
that she didn’t mind so much when teenage boys looked at her daughters with,
let’s say, um, interest. But, she said, it drives her absolutely crazy when
adult men leer at her girls – something that she said happens all too often.
“A
good man is hard to find.”
And
that recent conversation reminded me of another conversation from a long time
ago.
Back
in the early 1990’s I taught in an all-girls Catholic high school in Newark.
Looking back on it, many of those girls had a whole lot more wisdom and
maturity than I had back in those days.
One
day in class – I have no idea now what exactly we were talking about – one of
the girls said to me, “Mr. Murphy, you don’t understand. There aren’t that many
good boys for us.”
That
girl seemed so sad and resigned when she said it. And the other girls all
nodded in agreement. It’s a little moment that, obviously, that made a big
impression on me. I’ve never forgotten it.
“A
good man is hard to find.”
I
suspect that the situation wasn’t so different back in the First Century. Then
as now probably a lot of men were not so interested in keeping their
commitments. I’m sure that a lot of men were looking for a woman to be a
servant and to be a baby-maker. And probably a lot of men didn’t exactly
respect and honor, through word and deed, the women to whom they were married.
But,
then as now, there were some good
men.
And,
it turns out that, in Joseph, both God and Mary find a good man.
While
Luke tells the story of Jesus’ miraculous birth through the eyes of Mary,
Matthew tells this earthshaking story from the point of view of Joseph.
What
do we know about this good man?
We
know that he’s engaged, or betrothed, to Mary.
Now,
yes, today engagements are a big deal – often there’s the ring and the
engagement party and the wedding preparations and all the rest. But, although
it can be upsetting and disappointing, it’s not very difficult to break an
engagement. Happens all the time and life goes on.
But,
in First Century Judaism, if you were engaged, like Joseph and Mary, you were
as good as married. The two families would have worked out the match. The
engagement could only be broken for a really big reason, like, for example,
infidelity.
According
to Deuteronomy, a woman in what appeared to be Mary’s situation, was to be
returned to her father’s house and would be stoned to death for the shame she
had brought upon her family.
So,
when Mary “is found to be with child,” no one would have blamed Joseph for
being furious and feeling humiliated. An ordinary man would have simply obeyed
the law and sentenced Mary to a horrific and deadly fate.
Yet,
we’re told, Joseph is a “righteous man.” So, even before his dream Joseph was
“unwilling to expose her to public disgrace.” So, Joseph “planned to dismiss
her quietly.”
God
and Mary have found a good man.
But,
Joseph is better than good.
In
the Old Testament, God often communicates with people by using messengers –
angels – and through dreams. In Joseph’s case, we’re told, God uses both
methods of communication. An angel appears to Joseph in a dream and tells him
the over the top – who’s ever going to believe this? – news about Mary’s child.
And
what does Joseph do?
Most
of us would have shaken off the dream as ridiculous.
Maybe
the most open-minded of us would have taken the angel’s message seriously but
it would have been too hard to swallow our pride, too painful to endure the
ridicule of neighbors and family, just too challenging to treat this child as
our own.
Yet,
we’re told, Joseph did as the angel commanded.
And
when the child is born, it’s Joseph who names him – signifying that he is the
legal father.
And
he names him Jesus, which means God saves.
In
Joseph, God and Mary find a good man.
There
is a tradition that Joseph died while Jesus was still relatively young – that
Joseph didn’t live long enough to see Jesus take up his ministry and mission –
didn’t live long enough to see Jesus rejected and killed – didn’t live long
enough to see Jesus rise again.
But,
there’s no doubt that Joseph shaped Jesus the man, whose life is marked by the
greatest righteousness and the most extraordinary mercy – mercy even to those
who, according to the Law, should have been stoned for their behavior.
So,
what about us? Men, especially, but what about all of us?
What
can we learn from Joseph’s example?
Well,
Joseph teaches us, no matter what, to take our commitments absolutely
seriously.
Joseph
teaches us not to judge but to always show mercy.
Joseph
teaches us to be open to God who is speaking to us in all sorts of different
ways – certainly through the people in our lives, maybe through our dreams and,
who knows, maybe through an angel or two.
Finally,
Joseph teaches us to take risks, to risk something big, for God.
In
Joseph, God and Mary found a good man.
But,
a good man – a good person - is still
hard to find.
So,
how about us?
Amen.
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